Wow. So it's been eons since I've written here. Got stuck in Honduras for 2 extra days (not so bad, but a little scary), finished the semester (finally), staying up at school for the summer (yay).

Maybe I'll write more in a few months. Toodles.

Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo

Off to Honduras for a much needed break from school and - I never thought I'd say this - snow. Blasphemy and sacrilege, I know! It will still be here when I get back...

I will be thinking of all of you while I'm scuba diving in the warm waters off the coast of Honduras. Well, actually, I'll probably be thinking "I cannot believe I'm actually here! Scuba diving! And I can see living creatures all around me! (Unlike Lake Superior; although the rock formations are pretty cool, I have yet to see a fish...)

Now that I've made you all jealous, I should probably tell you that I will miss you and I hope your break is relaxing (as it should be).

Peace, love, and flipflops.

a new leaf

it's time for a change, i think

sick of being tired
tired of being scared
through with feeling dumb

finished with giving up
done with failing
through it all, i've come undone

it's time for a change, i think

let's see what i can do
let's see where i can go
in this life i've barely begun

i've found my feet
and there's the road
just starting out, i've already won

it's time for a change

why didn't I wear my swimsuit today?

I need to go home - where ever that is. Maybe I just need to be away from here, just for a while. Away from things that remind me that I'm a failure. Away from things that remind me that I'm not really as smart as people say I am. What do they know? They're not in this head of mine. Heck, sometimes I don't even want to be in here.

Okay, that was a little harsh, but apparently that's what I do. I beat myself up. I'm too hard on myself. Always have been and probably always will be. It's part of what makes me me. I don't know why I am like this and most of the time I do not like it, but I cannot control that.

That bothers me. I thought I could. I thought I had it all down, became cool and collected. It worked for a while, but I guess it just wore off. And now I feel especially defeated because I think I should have seen it all coming. "Didn't you see that 150 foot tidal wave coming toward the beach?" I was just so fascinated by the wall of water that I forgot to evacuate. Easily distracted, I guess.

As I tread this water, with no idea how deep it is, I have become disoriented. I am not sure which is up and which is down. Left or right? Where'd the sun go? And why didn't I wear my swimsuit today?

Funky Fall

Hey folks,

I know it's been a while, but what can I say? Life happens.

The rest of my summer flew by -- working and going to summer school. I actually did much better than I thought I would in Chemistry; a nice surprise. I spent a lot of time with my Chemistry book. Something I've never done before, but was obviously needed since it paid off in the end.

Back at school is proving to be a challenge, though. I have already forgotten how to read. Well, you know. Not forgotten how, but forgotten the benefit really. I'd much rather be doing something else more appealing. And this semester is not the one to have that mindset. Two 5-credit classes? No no.

I was with a friend earlier today explaining my situation and they told me that to get out of a "funk," as I like to call it, I just need one consistency in my life. Something I do everyday no matter what. Same time, every day. No matter what. I am willing to try anything because I'm not a big fan of this "funky" thing I'm in.

Well, here goes...

Rewind - Favorite Day in Vienna

Still in one piece after 4 not so fun plane rides and a month in Vienna; 2 classes of Chem II over; working for my neighbor again (nex to the old house). I'd say that's pretty good for being back in the states for 2.5 days, wouldn't you?

Sorry about the whole leaving you hangin' there thing the last bit of my trip, but if you want the whole story, you're going to have to talk to me. I'm not going to post it here.



So, the second half of my trip was awesome! I wish I had a better word to describe it, but I can't think of one right now and I'm too lazy to open the thesaurus. (I hope they name a dinosaur Thesaurus...have they yet? They should.) While my prof had us running around the city exploring and reading (it was a history course, afterall), I did some exploring of my own.



Let me tell you about my favorite day. Day 23, Sunday, 6-3-07
I woke up a little later than usual and was a tad mad at myself because I totally could have gone to church. Oh well, I couldn't stay mad too long. I started to read for class. That got really boring really fast. After 15 minutes, it was just me and Neil in the apartment and I decided I needed to get out for a while. I got dressed and packed my backpack w/ my books, some snacks, water, my camera, wallet, and rain jacket (just in case); it looked a little cloudy.



When I got to the bottom of my favorite 102 stairs and walked out the door, I headed up the street towards the Vienna University Botanical Gardens. (I went there quite often; they were only 2 blocks away.) On the way there, I passed Jenna who was coming back from her run:
"Where ya goin'?"
"I'm going to read somewhere else."
"Ok."
"I can't stay in the apartment all day."



I think she stopped listening after she said "Ok," but whatever. I kept walking and didn't look back.



Once you reached the garden wall, the only entrance was a few blocks further down the street. Or so I thought. I found another one. It was a smaller gate (about the width of a door, maybe 8 feet tall) that was half hidden by ivy. I wouldn't have seen it had it not been open. I walked up to it and peeked in. There were 5 concrete stairs in front of me, no hand rails, and 2 elderly women sitting on the right side. They were speaking German, but I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. As long as they weren't yelling at me for using this entrance, I didn't care what they were talking about. So, I walked in and up the stairs like I had somewhere to go and went off to the right past the two women.



I love this place. We need more parks and gardens like this back at home. I walked around for a bit and took some picture of some flowers. Then I found a bench and started to read. I heard some footsteps coming up fast, and looking up from my book, I saw a runner. 30 seconds later, another one. And 1 minute later, another. I wish I could run. Another runner. Maybe I should give it another try when I get back to the States...haha.



Something peculiar I noticed on my trip was a difference between European and American runners. This may just be a fluke, but I have never seen an American run in black before. Most of the Europeans wore black or dark clothing when they ran; even if it was sunny and 80 degrees out. Most of the people I know back home wear light colors or close to nothing when they run. Not even the guys were taking their shirts off. I even saw one guy running in a polo -- aren't those heavy?! Weird? I'll let you be the judge of that.



Well, noticing that this bench was in a high running-traffic area, I decided to walk some more and find a bench where I wouldn't be so distracted. I finally found one and parked it (haha). It had some nice tree cover too, which came in handy when it started to rain. I was able to read well into the rain storm before I decided to go walk around in it. After I ate a snack and put everything back in my bag, I put my rain jacket on and started making my way towards the bigger gate at the other end of the garden. I must have walked around in the rain for at least 45 minutes. I love rain.



I didn't know what I wanted to do the rest of the day, so I told myself I'd just start walking and see where I ended up. (You should play that game one day, it's fun. You never know where you're going to go...) I walked a block to the subway and took it to Stephansplatz and, you guessed it, Stephansdom. There was something about this Cathedral that kept drawing me back to it. I wish I could have spent more time in it -- and I wish I would have gone to mass there.



I walked up to the Cathedral, stopped to look up even though rain fell in my face, and walked in the door. There were a lot of people inside, as there usually are because it is a big tourist spot, but they had gone from my sight as soon as they had entered it. It was just me in the Cathedral. I walked to the left and sat down on a pew for a while. I said a prayer. I didn't want to leave, but something or someone told me it was time to keep going. Today is my day.



I said goodbye to the Cathedral, like I always did. I got into the habit because I never knew when would be the last time I'd see it. It sounds silly, but we all have things like that... I walked down Stephansplatz. I passed people shopping, eating, being affectionate, enjoying life. Why do people care if a couple stops to share a hug and a kiss (or many)? I am constantly hearing, "PDA!" or "I don't want to see that." Get a grip. They've been blessed with someone who loves them and they're comfortable with showing it. God bless them. Speaking of which, I got to play translator between a very cute couple. I hope they figured something out...



All of a sudden, I hear: (to help you all -- guy, me, girl)


"Entschuldigung." (Excuse me.) I look to my right and see a very cute guy standing next to a girl with a hopeful look on her face.


"Ja?" (Yes?) I reply


"Verstehst du Deutsch?" (Do you understand German?)


"Ein bisschen." (A little.) I didn't know what I was getting myself into just yet...


"Sie spricht nur Englisch. Ich spreche nur Deutsch. (She speaks only English. I speak only German.) Pointing to the girl and himself, respectively.
"Kannst du bitte ihr ein paar Frage stellen?" (Can you please ask her a few questions?)


"Ja." (Yes.) With a look of shock, I'm sure.


"Thank you for doing this."


I smile.


"Bitte frag wie lange noch sie in Wien wird." (Please ask how much longer she will be in Vienna.)


to girl: "How much longer will you be in Vienna?"


raising arms: "15 minutes! I have to go back home!"


to guy: "Nur funfzehn minuten." (Only 15 minutes.)


"Nur funfzehn minuten?! Oh jeh!" (Only 15 minutes! Oh man!)
"Bitte frag sie wann wir wieder treffen konnen." (Please ask her when we can meet again.)


to girl: "He wants to know when you can meet again."


flustered: "When? How? Where? I have to leave!"


to guy: "Wann? Wie? Wo? Sie musst weggehen." (When? How? Where? She has to go away.)


guy puts hands on head, doesn't know what to do: "Danke. Danke fuer deine hilfe. (Thank you. Thanks for your help.)


"Thanks for trying."


to guy: "Tut mir leid. (I'm sorry.)


to girl: "Good luck. I wish I could do more."


"Thank you."



I didn't want to walk away, but I didn't know what else to do. I kept thinking How had they been communicating up until then and How long had they been attempting hanging out? When they first got my attention, I thought they wanted me to take their picture or something. Language barriers suck. Learn a foreign language. And USE it.



While I was thinking, my feet were doing the navigating and all of a sudden I found myself at the Hofburg Apartments (another awesome building in the city). I walked through the courtyard and found myself in a new place. Exciting. Ooh. A tour group. Yeah, I snuck in for 15 minutes. It would have been longer had the tour not been coming to an end and heading in the direction I had just come from. Oh well.



Still walking, I found myself passing an open area with some monument to someone on the right and the Vienna National Library on the left. HUGE building. I didn't want to go in, for fear of getting lost. So I kept walking. Oooh. Two buildings that mirror eachother. I had to write about this in a journal entry for my class. The Museums! I found them!



And in 2 minutes I found myself in between the Kunsthistorisches (art history) and Naturhistorishes (natural history) Museums. Guess which one I went into. That's right, Natural History, all the way. The entrance fee was only 3,50 Euro -- there are some perks to being a student. I only had 2.5 hours to spend looking around by the time I got there, but that was going to have to do. To tell you the truth, I could have spent ALL day in there. (I went back another time, but I only had 2 hours that time. It was better than nothing.)



Here's a bit about what was inside:
-a whole WING dedicated to rocks, minerals, and the like (from all over the world); i could have slept in a geode they had, it was so big!
-HUGE zoological collection : )
-cool section w/ microscopes -- up close with the microscopic world
-a little aquaruim downstairs (still better than the Vienna Aquarium!)
-nice cafe on the top floor
-awesome WING of sea creatures
-separate shark ROOM! (shark = "hai" in German, pronounced "hi", you will be quizzed at a later date)
-pretty sweet gift shop in which I carried on a conversation completely in German with the cashier (I'm so proud of me)





This museum is my new favorite. I loved it and I didn't want to leave. The displays were amazing, very realistic and some were popping out of the cases! Check out this display!

Oh my gosh. This museum also has the Venus of Willendorf. (Look it up. You should know this.) I was so excited when I saw it, I almost had a heart attack! I hope I get to go back there some day.

The museum closed at 6:30, as did most other places except for restaurants, so I decided to start heading back to the apartment. I found a subway stop I'd never been to before and went down. Wait, is this it? All of a sudden I got really excited because this was the stop I had always wanted to see from outside of the train! It was Volkstheater! This stop is so cool! When you go down the escalator, the walls are lined with huge paintings and when you get to the bottom, the floor and the display cases are shiny and glittery. It's a fun stop. I'm so glad I ended up finding it. It made my day.

I know that was a long one, but thanks for sticking with me. That was the best day on the trip. I didn't have to worry about anyone but me. I went where I wanted to go and did what I wanted to do. I had fun. It was my day. All for me. And it rained.

teh-sad

sorry kids, no more blogging until i get back to the states. (grumbling in the cheap seats) hey, it's been hectic the past few days and it's gonna get worse from here on out! so deal with it. when i get home, i'll post more pictures and write more, i promise. some things happened that i wasn't expecting...such is life. so, for now, this is the Taytor, signing off.